Art of Destruction

A/N: I donno, it just sort of came to me while I was sitting in the

cafeteria alone after school, waiting for my mom to pick me up. Its

not really a story, but its not quite an essay either, it's just about

what Peeves is. It actually might be the beginning of a story though,

from his point of view. I'm not sure if I'll write it though, unless

people are actually interested. I think this would be the first story

centering around him, wouldn't it? And firsts are certainly an

endangered species in the area of Harry Potter… Oh, just go on and

read it.

Disclaimer:… anyone reading this who thought I owned the Harry Potter

universe would have to be pretty stupid, wouldn't they? Let's all

point and laugh at them!

The Art of Destruction

By LejindaryBunny

That Peeves was a one of the castle ghosts was a misconception. He

was in fact a poltergeist and, yes, there is a difference, a rather

large one at that. Peeves had never lived. He had never died. He simply

was.

Muggle paranormalists have a something of a fascination with so-called

'poltergeist activity' which is characterized by physical and usually

destructive changes in the environment. Examples include doors suddenly

shutting in peoples faces, expensive vases throwing themselves crashing

to the floor for no apparent reason, and people pitching head first down

flights of stairs as though someone had tripped them. These muggles

have speculated that, unlike ghosts and other apparitions which tend

not to be able to affect the physical world, that these events are

caused not be the souls of the troubled dead, but instead the troubled

living, usually overstressed adolescents. This actually is much closer

to the truth than muggles come to explaining most extraordinary

phenomena and indeed the theory is not entirely wrong.

The students at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry are

exactly the same as regular adolescents in nearly all respects. They are

subject to the same pressures to do well in classes, in sports, they

have friend problems, and enemies and love trouble, and they dislike

their teachers. They have the normal desire to vent these frustrations

in a vengeful and destructive sort of way.

There is however one key difference between Hogwarts students and

their muggle counterparts. Hogwarts students have magic.

Peeves was in fact the single oldest occupant of the castle, having

started to come into being three days before the school's first final

exams. Tensions were running high and tempers were on the very edge. He

manifested first as a phantom wind, scattering a large number of

uncorrected History of Magic essays down a very recently mopped hallway.

The next day a crystal ball seemingly lifted itself off the table and

flew around the Divinations classroom donking people on the head.

During lunch the great hall rang with a disembodied voice shouting

unprintable limericks about the four Hogwarts founders who were present

at the time. (To say Slytherin was irate would be like saying the sun

was a little warm.) The same voice whispered incorrect ingredients and

measurements into the ears of students taking their first Potions exam.

That evening a student was relaxing eyes closed, sprawled over an

armchair. She opened her eyes to the unpleasant sight of a grinning,

befreckled face less than an inch from her nose.

'Boo.'

The girl screamed rather loudly, having been treated to witness

Peeves very first visible manifestation. He, on the other hand, wafted

off in a fit of giggles.

Peeves was and is the personified manifestation of all the nastier

impulses, whether conscious or not, that students have and never do for

the simple reason they were they to follow these impulses they would be

given detention, expelled, imprisoned, hanged etcetera. These feelings

and desires coupled with the sheer magnitude of magic energy thrown

around every day on the environs combined to unintentionally create an

entity to carry out the pranks that no one could do and make the awful

remarks that no one would say. In actuality Peeves is the result and

recipient of all the anxiety of teenage life and the creature with the

capability to release these tensions. The wreaking of various forms

of havoc and mischief in response to these tensions are literally

his reason for being, effectively making him a perpetually

outgoing, angst ridden, shameless delinquent of a teenager. It his place

in the world to muddy the entrance of the castle as Filch walks in,

to trip Neville Longbottom down the stairs and to say all the very rude

things to Snape's face that everyone would love to say but would like

to continue breathing.

It is generally agreed that Peeves does all this very well.

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A/N: Hmmm… So, what do you think of it? I'd love to hear your opinion

so please, please, please review!